Lovesick Studio


Perfect Expectations

Close to perfect.

Since my time in Hong Kong is swiftly coming to a close, I thought that maybe it would be a healthy exercise to reflect on the past year. Looking back on the past year, I've come to realise that I still have so much growing up to do. At the same time, there have been moments where I've tasted more of life's bitterness. Not to say that I really know what true struggle is like, but in the scope of my experiences, the often loneliness and disappointment I've felt has been real. It seems a bit clich├ęd to say trying to 'find' myself has been a difficult process, but it is the first time where I felt truly discouraged about the future and that there is a seemingly impenetrable gap between what I expect and what I'm actually able to get. If anything, I've learned that expectation is the only form of perfection. 

When faced with the real world, there have been times where I really don't know how to adjust my mentality in dealing with its harsh reality. I think that the only way to overcome that mental hurdle is through experience. Throughout the past couple of months, people have tried to help me put things into perspective, but the only way to do so is requires personal discipline and on your own terms. It's about understanding what your capable of and balancing that with the wider environment; how people perceive you and how they value you. It's about realising how incredibly small you are in the world but creating something of value with what you have.

I don't want to come off as another 20-something with absolutely no self-awareness. But sometimes it's hard to step away from these thoughts and realise how fortunate you are. I realise the opportunities I've been given; it's the feeling that you're unable to fully build upon these expectations that is difficult to swallow.

There may never be perfection, in any sense of the word, but a relative view of that term is obtainable. I often think that my family is as perfect as it can be, my best friends are a perfect match, and that my relationship is a great source happiness. Apart from those things, there's not much else that is really worth striving to perfect. We can work hard in everything that we do, only so that we can go away from it with no regrets.